The year was 1932. Devin was walking home one day from the candy store, where he had purchased some taffy to enjoy when he got home. He walked past a newsstand when a headline caught his eye. It read: "Great Emu War in Australia Costs Government Millions. Shortage of Volunteers for Army Slow War Efforts."
Stunned, Devin bought all the papers with the headline. He walked home in a fog. He couldn't believe that what Marty McCantfly had told him all those years ago had actually come to pass. The emus were trying to take Australia. Devin only knew one thing: he had to fight in that war.
He called up his albatross, who had become a close friend after Devin tracked him down to thank him for saving his life, said goodbye to his surrogate mothers, and flew over to the battle front to offer his help.
It was after a few days of consistently breaking confirmed kill records Devin found himself on a patrol, thinking there were too few emus out that day. To be fair, the convoy had seen none since the sun rose, but Devin could even smell the difference. There was a lack of the stench the emus gave off. A mixture of wet dog and skunk, with a pinch of burning plastic to top it all off was strangely absent from the air that day. This should have been a red flag to Devin, but he had not yet developed the instincts he has now.
When the convoy came to the first check in point and had still not seen a single emu, the rest of the men were becoming nervous themselves. The lack of emus was compounded by the fact that there were no soldiers manning the checkpoint, so Devin and a few other men decided to take a look around.
They jumped down and walked to the main building, only to find it littered with emu feathers/fur. The men all tensed up immediately, and got into their practiced formation to keep tabs on all directions. They moved tactically back towards where they had left the rest of the men on the humvees, and when they got there were relieved to see that the other men were still there. Devin spoke up to the commander. "I think the emus have compromised this base."
"Really. That's going to be a problem." Commander Brunswick replied. "Did you sweep the entire camp?"
"No sir." Devin said. "But there are emu feathers/fur all over the place. The only weird thing is that I can't see any emus." The commander laughed softly.
"Don't worry about it Dev. Emus are just dumb birds. They came through here, either killed the men manning the base or chased them off, and then they left. The emus don't have any ulterior motive other than that they're crazy." Devin knew this was false, but choose not to argue at the moment. "Why don't you take a thorough sweep of the base just to be sure. The men might just be hiding somewhere waiting for backup."
Devin opted to simply sweep the base himself, confident he wouldn't need any help if he did happen to encounter any emus. As he walked through the empty buildings, he noticed a strange feeling that he was being watched. Suddenly, the sound of screams sliced through the air, breaking Devin's concentration. He sprinted back to the vehicles, only to find that they were being overrun with emus and the men inside were being pecked to death faster than they could fight off the large birds. Devin felt a sharp blow to his head and blacked out.
He awoke in one of the familiar buildings that the base he was at was made up of. In front of him was a large emu, and Devin recalled how large Marty McCantfly had been, briefly making him consider if this was indeed the same emu. This thought was shattered by the bird speaking.
"My name is General Berkk." He began in a low voice. "I've heard a lot about you. Our intel tells us that you've already killed more of my soldiers than 100 normal men. So I came here myself to take care of you."
"Do you know Marty McCantfly?" Devin ventured to ask.
"Why of course." The emu laughed. "He's my brother." Devin processed this information. He decided that killing General Berkk would be a good start toward his quest for Marty's head.
"So then you can kill me." Devin said. Slowly coming up with a plan. "But only if you can beat me in a game of my choice." The emu paused for a moment.
"I'm going to kill you either way, but why not draw this out a bit. I'm fairly bored." Devin knew he only had a short time to come with a game to play, so he turned on the switch in his brain his nun mothers had told him never to flip, and got to work thinking. After a few moments, he had a plan.
"A flying contest." He said confidently. "Whoever can get higher wins." the General thought for a minute. He knew very well that he couldn't fly, but he was pretty sure he could at least jump higher than Devin. He agreed to the game. "You just have to take me out of these restraints and we can go outside and do it." Devin said.
As man and beast walked out the door of the small building, surrounded by emu soldiers eager to end Devin's life, he was focusing very hard. One thought had to be the only thing in his mind, and if he let it slip for even a moment, he would certainly die. Two competitors took their places, surrounded by jeering emus. Devin allowed the General to go first. The large bird took a few steps and launched himself about 15 feet into the air, kicking up sand and dust on takeoff and landing.
"Alright." he growled after the dust settled. "I'm getting impatient. Your turn to jump." Devin, who had had his eyes closed since stepping outside, now openede them wide and looked straight up into the sun, screaming out, "AweaaacounnnnTeeee!" Just as the fourth "E" was being pronounced a massive albatross swooped down and swallowed Devin whole. The emus were stunned, and watched in silence as the flight endowed bird soared away. General Berkk ordered his men to stop staring and quickly ran back to the building he had been using as an office.
Unfortunately for him, Devin was already there. The albatross had given him a katana, one forged from the finest albatross steel from the ancient days when they majestic birds had been the benevolent rulers of earth, and Devin was brandishing it, clearly ready to kill the General. He wasted no time in doing so, and after Berkk was dead, he went through the camp and broke his own kill record so massively that to this day he has not slaughtered more than 40,759 emus in one battle.
General Berkk, however, was only the beginning. There were many other emu villains throughout the great war, and there are many other stories to be told. Devin would not always emerge the victor, or even emerge with his life, but he never lost his heart, and the goodness that filled it always.